this morning was very contentious at the neyland house. here are the reasons why.
1. i am a sexist (according to audri)
2. audri is colorblind (according to truth)
i'll address audri's claim that i am sexist first. since we found out that audri was pregnant, i have made several attempts to get audri reading. now she has read the books about expecting and baby stuff, but i thought she'd enjoy a novel. this is allegedly not the right thing to do. next, we have made valiant efforts to find baby bedding, well every set we've seen either has bunnies, bubblegum dots, or is thousands of dollars. This led us to thinking about picking out fabric and making our own and about 5 years ago, audri made me a pillow so i just assumed that she could sew. is that a crime? no- so this moring when i asked audri if she could sew my sweatpants that i've made into sweatshorts (long story.....) she labeled me a sexist. this is horrible reputation to carry around with me. audri claims that i am trying to make her more homely, i wasn't asking her to go mormon and let me bring in a second or fifteenth wife, just sew some shorts.
second, yes audri is colorblind. i am wearing a navy blue shirt, she calls it black. unfortunately, it is blue.
i am thinking of taking these debates to the honorable judge joe brown, i know it is not a great way to start of parenting, but the truth must be known. i will be sueing for 1000 dollars in emotional distress. the judge will probably side with me becuase we are both guys, and guys rock and stick together.
4 comments:
You know, Chris and I had a similar discussion, not about sewing mind you, he's not that brain damaged, but about color. You see he had a truck that was clearly green, but he told everyone it was grey. One day after arguing for a full 10 minutes or so, I went out to the truck, looked in the door at the discription and durn it if it wasn't deep forest green. Corey I just encourage you to for the next 7-8 months or so, to JUST AGREE WITH HER ABOUT EVERYTHING & save yourself the heartache. Trust me.
Your friend,
Brittany
PS You will never win against a woman who's knocked up. You may THINK you won, you may even actually be right... but its a sad way to live. Say it with me "Audri, you are right, as usual"
Be-bop Brittany
I've noticied that audri doesn't always match, that makes sense.
Larry stewart
Dumb move Larry...you NEVER TELL A PREGNANT LADY SHE DOESN'T MATCH, OR BETTER YET MAKE ANY COMMENTS ABOUT HER OUTFIT OTHER THAN..."You look nice"...I'd watch my back if I were you...This could get ugly
Post a Comment